Thank you for joining Dave Banks´ news list, and showing interest in his travels, the documentary film world, and his new book and video releases. Please find below a great excerpt from his book ´Cue the Camels´ make sure you purchase your copy at ∼ www.oodlebooks.co.uk/cuethecamels
There is a clip below to watch that will bring this incident very much to life ∼ enjoy!
Dead shrubs surrounded the cut in the earth. The shaft had smooth edges and its width was approximately 1.2m square. Just below the surface, the walls of the shaft were lined with roots that looked like the fingers of skeletons cradling protruding rocks.
´Here! There is new soil on the edge of the shaft,´ said Amir.
Amir started to climb down into the vertical shaft, using the freaky skeleton-like fingers as a rope ladder for his descent.
´Okay, guys, who´s next?´ Shmuel asked.
Mark shimmied feet first into the burial chamber, inhaling as he went through the aperture. There were skulls, bones and shards of stones scattered about the burial chamber that made the ground uneven. Amir sat on some broken ossuaries, shining his flashlight on the ceiling of the tomb; the light it cast made the tomb seem even more eerie.
As I started my descent into the shaft, small streams of dirt and pebbles started raining down. Stepping on the jutting stones I heard the dry ´skeleton fingers´ crack underneath my boots.
The aperture appeared to suit those with a waist size 32 or less. Given that I’m a 34 waist, I anticipated a problem. Shmuel started giving me instructions. ´Da´vid, face the opening and go feet first. Slide and inhale at the same time.´
I slid my right boot then my left boot into the hole leading to the tomb´s tunnel. There was the soft, muffed sound of my pants sliding against the rough stone as my feet fell into the tomb. My knees passed and my thighs followed – which was as far as I got. I was stuck between two worlds. My companions started laughing before cheering me on.
´Push! Push, Da´vid,´ said Shmuel.
From inside the tomb I heard, ´Dave, there´s a fall of about four feet. Drop!´
There was a scraping noise as my 34 waist and belt buckle tried to shimmy. I've been told in the past, during romantic endeavours, that I have 'a voluptuous butt' - something I've always thought of as an attractive asset, but which, in this instance, was a real liability. ´I think I´m too big, guys,´ I told my audience, ´I´m wedged in!´
Shmuel was trying very hard not to laugh but a giggle escaped. I too began to chuckle, which was uncomfortable considering the added pressure of stone against my waist.
´I think I´m going to have to go back!´ I kicked my legs wildly, inhaled and pushed with my arms against the lips of the hole. With a huge ´Aarrgghh!´, I broke wind loudly, a lone trumpet in the eerie stillness of our surroundings. I started laughing as I popped out like a newborn baby from its mother, falling back onto the ground above and creating a small cloud of dust.
Humility aside, all I could think was that the tomb raiders who had made that shaft obviously didn´t like hamburgers as much as I did.
On the drive back to the King David Hotel the teasing was relentless about my inadvertent ´E´ note. ´Hey, Dave, how long have you been playing the trumpet?´ said Shmuel.